Worthy of Pleasure: Breaking Free from Mental Blocks

One of the most common mental blocks I see with clients, one I’ve experienced myself, is the belief that we’re not worthy of pleasure. Or maybe its not worthy of oh so much juicy over the top pleasure! It’s that nagging voice in the back of your mind that says, “You’re taking too long,” or “You shouldn’t need this much attention.” For some, it’s guilt; for others, it’s a deep-seated belief that pleasure isn’t something they deserve in abundance.

If this resonates with you, let me tell you what I tell every client (and sometimes have to remind myself): pleasure is your birthright. It’s not a resource that runs out. There’s no timer, no limit, no threshold. You are worthy of bliss and connection, always.

Let’s talk about what might be holding you back from claiming your worthiness and how you can lean into these moments of doubt to find your way back to pleasure.

The Mental Block of Worthiness

For many of us, these blocks come from years of conditioning. Maybe it’s societal messages that teach us to prioritize others over ourselves, or the idea that pleasure is something you “earn.” For some, it’s tied to body image, shame, or fear of being “too much.” Whatever the root cause, these thoughts can show up at the worst times, pulling you out of the moment and creating a cycle of self-doubt.

Here’s the truth: you are not “too much.” You’re not “taking too long.” These are stories we tell ourselves that keep us from leaning into the joy and connection we crave.

Acknowledging the Block

The first step in reclaiming your pleasure is to acknowledge the block when it comes up. For me, this looks like naming it; not just to myself, but also to Brad. I let him know when I’m feeling stuck or like I’m in my head too much. Saying it out loud takes away some of the power it holds over me.

It’s okay to say, “I’m struggling to relax tonight,” or “I’m feeling like I don’t deserve this right now.” Naming it doesn’t ruin the mood; it creates an opportunity for connection and support.

Leaning on Your Partner

Your partner can be an incredible ally in helping you move through these moments. For me, Brad is my anchor. I ask him to slow down with me, to remind me verbally that there’s no rush, and to let me know that he wants me to feel pleasure. Hearing those words in the moment “You are worthy of this pleasure. I want this for you.” helps quiet the noise in my mind and lets me sink back into my body.

If you’re not used to asking for this kind of support, it might feel vulnerable at first. But I promise, these moments of honesty can create a deeper connection and intimacy than you’ve ever imagined.

Rewriting the Story

One of the most powerful ways to overcome the worthiness block is to rewrite the story you tell yourself about pleasure. Instead of seeing it as something you have to earn, view it as a gift you’re already worthy of. Instead of worrying about how long you’re taking, remind yourself that this moment is for you, and it’s okay to take up space.

I’ve started to approach pleasure with a mindset of abundance. There is enough. Enough time, enough attention, enough love. This isn’t about being selfish; it’s about recognizing that when you allow yourself to receive, you open up space for deeper connection and intimacy with your partner.

Everyone deserves pleasure in abundance; it’s not a resource that runs out, and it’s not something you have to justify. If you’ve been struggling with a block, I want you to know you’re not alone, and there’s nothing wrong with you.

The next time those doubts creep in, try naming them, leaning on your partner, and reminding yourself that pleasure is your birthright. You are worthy of bliss, connection, and the kind of intimacy that leaves you feeling loved and whole.